The Nutcracker
by Marian
Summary: An old story I had written... I don't really know what to say about it... Quite different from my other stories, perhaps. It's T&P, as usual, and could be considered a day in life of Pan and Trunks.


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The Nutcracker

When I wake up, he is staring at me, looking every single curve of my body, his blue eyes shining almost evil, a mysterious smile on his lips. He is wearing only a pair of blue, long, silken underpants. His muscles attract my sight, as a magnet would do with an iron piece. He crosses his arms and widens his smile, becoming an almost evil smirk. While I force myself to stare at his beautiful blue eyes, he looks at my body again, knowing I am watching at him. I see him look at my neck, low his eyes a bit and stop at my breast, where his smile becomes even wider. Then he goes on his way down, my waist, my tights... I lay on the bed, resting on my side, my legs flexed and my arms half way between us both. I'm wearing the night-dress that Bra gave me as a present some time ago, the white one, and I can be certain that he likes how it fits my body. He is sitting at the foot of my bed, his hair a little wet, so sweet and arrogant at a time, watching me with bright eyes. He wants me. And I love that sensation.

Looking at his arms, his neck, these muscles, his pants --- I am tempted to tell him that it's a mutual feeling. With a funny growing warm inside my belly I wonder what the most eligible man in the world is doing on my bed only wearing his underwear.

I smile sweetly, almost sensual, and roll upwards, with my eyes locked on his. I pull my legs apart a bit, knowing how short my nightgown is, and urge him with a deep glance. He seems to get me at the moment and unfolds his arms. While he leans down to get nearer me his hand has reached my knee and keeps its way up. I pull my legs a bit more apart, raising my knee to let him know that I want more. Much more.

His head has reached my level, his hand goes up along my hip, teasing me. Our lips find each other's and we both make clear our hunger for the other. I feel his mouth, open wide, against mine, while his hand is put on my shoulder, stroking my neck with his fingertips, lowering its way to explore my breasts. When his tongue meets mine we both moan at once, happy and a bit dizzy.

I lean towards him, seeking him. He starts kissing my neck and takes control of the situation, answering me by leaning also towards me and immobilizating me with his weight by laying onto me.

"Good morning...", he whispers, already his mouth almost reaching my breast, while his expert hands are exploring every little bit of me, taking out my night-gown, pulling it upwards slowly, to end by taking it out around my shoulders, my arms and finally my head. While I moan in pleasure when I find he has found my breasts and his lips are drew closed around one of them, his hands start playing with my panties. And I take conscience, I am almost nude below Trunks, and the sensation of dizziness and abandonment gets stronger, making me loosing my mind.

I feel him against me. He pushes gently against me, making me wish time to go faster so I can have him finally. My impatience grows for moments. I find myself burning, willingly, between his arms, under his caresses and kisses, and I find how difficult it is to contain myself.

"How did you sleep...?", he whispers, now on my belly, while I curse each and every one of the few Armstrongs between us.

"Quite... quite well...", I get to murmur between moans, with wanting shown in my voice. "What were you doing...?"

He pulls a bit apart from me, thing that makes me internally angry, and smiles so sweetly that I don't know if to want him even more badly and oblige him to get stuck to me at once or if to forget all about sex and shout out loud how I love him and hold him as if he were a teddy bear.

"I was imaging us doing this, Panny...", he says quietly while his lips look for mines. He is again laying on top of me and his thrusts start to look hopefully serious.

"I love you...", it escapes me while he goes on kissing me restless.

I feel bad for having told him so. As if I were guilty of something. And I feel afraid. But he smiles against my lips while he gets rid of my panties. He kiss me once again... and...

I stop my clock alarm very, very angry.

I lay at my bed, with my night-gown all creased – not the one from the dream but one much less nice – and I look at the ceiling cursing the dreams that are not to be ever ended. And the fact that it was a dream.

After a few instants, what seem quite long to me, while remembering about the dream and wishing I had not put the alarm the clock, I raise up and go to the bathroom. I take a shower with nearly cold water, trying to calm down my instincts or whatever they are. But it's useless. When I get out of the shower tube I still need a man. Worse still. I need _the_ man.

And he is unreachable.

And it overwhelms me.

I dry myself with a towel, looking at my reflection on the mirror. I like my image, but knowing that, in the end, either approbation or refusal of my body is not to come from myself, I don't even pay attention to my appearance. Inside my mind, the last words from the dream are back.

I love him.

Yes, I love him. Or so. And I must recognise that it scares me to do so.

I run to my bedroom, naked, to get dressed there.

I love him.

I choose sexy clothing, for today I am to go to work at the Cc – when will they really contract me instead of this indecision? – and I dry my hair.

And he does not, to me.

I feel cold, when I'm totally dressed. Inner coldness. Coldness of him. Coldness of dreams.

I put the things I am going to need into my bag and get concentrated.

It's going to be a hard day.

They are always hard after having dreamt of him this way.

I concentrate my energy and tele-transport myself. I appear opposite to Bra, who is already used to see me appear by surprise.

We are in his office. He has gone somewhere, Bra tells me, but I don't even pay attention to her. On the huge curved windows, there are tiny waterfalls, like some useless winding paths, raindrops joining other ones in their fall.

And sitting there, on his desk, watching through the window how the raindrops fall, my mind floats unstoppably towards my fantasy... or whatever it was.

Perhaps sex with him can be read from a Freudian point of view as something totally isolated and apart from sex and any feeling of attraction... Some kind of... admiration... or... frustration...

An ironical laugh bursts in my mind.

Panny, it says, you know that you love him.

And, yes, it's right. I know it. And it knows that I know.

He comes back to his office, after a few minutes, accompanied by Son Goten and his secretary.

Surprised by my uncle's presence, I shoot a questioningly look at him, who smiles and winks to me.

He is not wearing any of his business suits, as he uses to, but a pair of jeans and a very nice pullover, that seems warm and comfortable... almost making you want to hug him... While he approaches to Bra and me, I wonder if his underwear is silk-made, as it was in my dream – would it be comfortable? How would it be for me wearing silken underwear...? Not very special... Maybe even uncomfortable! But we must agree with the fact that we are morphologically different...! -

I look outside through the window, going back to my dream again, reliving it once again.

I didn't even know it was raining, before going outdoors.

Where do I live?

Luckily, I programmed my house. Everything is computerised, there. It's my house. And I am an electronic engineer, after all. If it was not programmed, if my job was not to help me in the real life, what an engineer would I be?

I imagine my computer closing the windows. Closing most of the garden. Cancelling the watering orders. Doing what I should have ordered to do before leaving to work.

While I daydream with making love to Trunks.

His voice surprises me. He is at my side, looking through the window as well. He sighs. And looks at me. His big blue eyes shine on me and I feel I lose my nerve. I immediately unlock my sight from his, ashamed, although I don't know very well of what.

"What a pity, the weather, uh...?", he comments sitting at my right. I keep looking away, avoiding his eyes, looking to his window as the raindrops keep falling on it.

"I like the rain, in fact...", I finally add, wondering why in dreams we never talk about the weather or silly things like that.

"Yeah, so do I... But I was planning to take a free day today..."

I nod. Now I understand the way he's dressed today.

"Where did you intend to go...?"

"I don't know... To the beach, the funfair, wherever...

I turn aside slowly to look for Bra and Goten. They've left. They didn't even say goodbye.

He sees my movement and smiles, making me look at him again, almost unconsciously. I am taken by his beauty. He is arrogantly handsome. Irresistible. And he does not even know that he is.

"You were...", I start, realising to late that I didn't know what I was going to say before looking at him. After a pause, I luckily get to react. "You were going to go with Bra and Goten...?"

He looks at me, his eyes open wide, as if I had said some blasphemy.

"With those two?! Me!?!"

I smile and nod, as if it was obvious that he would go with them.

"But... I can't stand them! I mean, I can, but... My sister... she's so... herself, so... bitchy...! And Son... well, you know, I'm still wondering if he is at all! You know how he is!"

I nod again, this time convinced.

"Well, I guess you won't be able to go out, with such a weather...", I whisper, finally, sad for him.

"No, I guess not...", he answers, obviously sad.

"Some other day..."

"Yep..."

"Well..." I don't know how to say goodbye, never to him. "I work here, today...", I say, tiredly. "I'm going to see what your mother wanted from me..."

He nods as well and looks at me in the eye, intensely. I can't avoid being surprised by such a look.

"What's the matter...?", I say, since he says nothing.

"You'll get mad at me...", he whispers, looking to the ground, blushing. "Mo... mother wanted nothing... from you..."

I intensify the surprise in my glance as a part of my mind asks sarcastically whom I have to thank because of waking me up in the middle of one of the best dreams I've had in the last two decades.

"But... but I thought that..." I mumble.

He nods with a guilty look.

"You are very busy lately... You work here, besides working for the competitors... Which we should cut one of your fingers off for, indeed!", he jokes, while I have no idea of where he wants to get by this. "You work too much, Panny... You don't have any rest...! I've been three weeks watching you out. Not even a single free day. Not even on Sundays."

I look up, raising my browns, surprised that it's already three weeks. In fact, now that he mentions it, and doing a mental calculus, I would say that it's been six weeks. But I don't even think of mentioning it...! Instead, sighing, I justify myself, feeling that I have to, although I don't see the point.

"It is not that big deal... I had two emergencies... One central computer cracked down... and... I had to finish the job... It's been just three weeks, Trunks, it's not so important!"

He shakes his head, serious.

"It's been three weeks. By now. I understand that it's a lot of work. I've already told Mum to try... not to need you... so much..."

My heart makes a funny noise when hearing so. Will it be broken? I'm not wanted here, at home, at Capsule Corporation! My future is not something that worries me, I've already been offered of terrific jobs here and there... It's just that I expected... I hoped to be contracted here, at CC, they're nearly my family, besides the most important company, and I sincerely expected to work here soon, very soon, being officially contracted full-time instead of the several asked hours I spend here. I _wanted_ to be contracted. And I thought I would be in a short time. I've been dying to help the company!! I had no time but, still, I was here, solving any little problem they could have...

I hide my disappointment under a brilliant smile, I reconsider the last offer I had, the most interesting in fact, for a full-time job, the one from Danube Sys, weighing up advantages and disadvantages, knowing that the only thing I have against it is that it's not the CC.

"You have to rest, Pan...", he goes on, so unaware of my thoughts that I wonder if we are really in the same room, "You **need** a day off. That's the reason I have made you come. I know how necessary you are, here and everywhere. But, for your own good, you must rest."

He's the one who does not want me here...?

I fake a smile and look straight at his eyes, cold, only business remaining in my mind, while my inner self is confused and feels like crying.

"I know that I'm not that necessary... Not indispensable, at least... In fact, I must talk to your mother... My... my job can be done by anyone else..."

He smiles a bit, shyly, but terribly cute and hurting for my pained heart.

"You have too much responsibility, Panny...! You need to slow down..."

I nod, always keeping my smile.

"Maybe I could even recommend you any of my companions..."

"And you could take some holidays. You need them..."

I stare at him, defiant.

"Are you telling me that I don't look good...?"

He shakes his head, denying flatly.

"Oh, no! What are you saying!!? You look gorgeous!!"

In some other circumstances, I would have felt flattered.

"Don't worry about me, Trunks", I go on, "I'm alright. And this will end soon... Danube has offered me the designer directress workstation. My own office, good salary, secretary, a lot of power... Maybe my office has not the terrific views you have, but I think I will feel comfortable there... Moreover, I'm young, I only finished university last year... It's an offer I can't refuse, taking into account my age..."

"D... Danube Systems...?"

"Yes...", I nod, with my everlasting smile.

"Oh...", he sighs, obviously confused, "I thought that..."

"What?", I cut him off.

"Nothing...", he murmurs.

I stand up and turn to look at him.

"So, I have no work to do here...?", I ask with my formal voice, the one I use with 'the competitors', as he's called them.

He shakes his head, looking to the ground.

"Then," I go on, happily, "I will go now. I have things to do at Danube...! And don't worry about me, I'm old enough to take care of myself. I know when to stop. And, by the way, now I'll have plenty of holidays and everything as soon as I'm contracted... Uh, and I'll be one of workers the competitors...! Good luck, Trunks... I don't think I'm easy to win...!"

He nods, still not looking at me, while I gather my energy to disappear. With a soft noise, I'm out of his office, on the entrance of Danube. They don't expect me until tomorrow, but I feel rejected and hurt and don't feel like a free day today. Trunks, who I considered one of my best friends, is sabotaging my chances with CC... It hurts. It really does.

I start my working day, as always. And, as always, I'm certain that, while working, I won't think of him, I won't remember him. I put some music on. I'm quite valued at Danube. Maybe only because they now that CC wants me –if they only knew –. Well, and because of my results. I've grown in CC, among electronic engines. I have almost an innate instinct. I'm good. Very good... perhaps.

With hours passing, I feel the tension grow around me. They are waiting for an answer from me. They also now how busy I am and the tiredness it has brought me into, and expect me to accept the workstation. And, trying to convince me, they are all trying to make me feel comfortable.

I smile sadly. Nobody can be a prophet in his town.

I take a short break. I still have a lot of work to do. Outside it's still raining, the sky is grey and the clouds only seem to be growing darker, not going to disperse.

I look my clock for chance to find that it's time to leave. I've been working for eight hours without stopping, not even noticing time flying. My concentration in work even seems to be improving. I have not had lunch but I'm not hungry at all.

Tonight I won't be dreaming of him. And, if I do, it will be very ironic.

I gather my things and say goodbye to everybody. The executive director makes some comment about the job offer that I don't answer. The only thing that I say is that it's an interesting offer and that I'm still considering it.

He offers to drive me home. It's raining and he knows that I haven't come on a ship. I smile and look for an easy excuse.

All that I feel like doing is to be alone at home, warm, with a blanket wrapped around, drinking something hot to make this inner cold go away, reading a good book.

I'll buy some on my way home.

I go out of Danube and walk to the nearest bookstore. They know me, I've been here several times, I am a compulsive devourer of books. A very good client.

Is this how my life will be from now on...?

Lost between books I've read and others I want to read, I don't notice a shadow that gets in the bookstore after me until he is next to me and touches my hand.

I look up. It's him. Soaking wet. Hair falling on his eyes, stuck to his head. Even like this he is cute, I notice with pain.

When I recover from the surprise of seeing him there, I start thinking coherently. My first reaction is astonishment.

"Trunks...?? What are you doing here...?!"

He looks at me through his hair, he's got his face wet and drops slip through his cheek towards his chin. His clothes are not in a better state.

"I'm following you. I've been waiting..."

I stare at him in awe.

"All eight hours...?"

He nods, ashamed.

"I needed to talk to you... And they wouldn't let me in..."

I get the books I've chosen and I give them to the shopkeeper. Once I've paid them, I lead the man outdoors. He takes his ship capsule out from his pocket, opens it, we get in and he starts the engine.

"Be careful...", I whisper, trying to break the uncomfortable silence that lays within us both. "The visibility is rather bad..."

He nods and starts the automatic pilot.

"All right, Trunks... What's the matter...?", I say softly after a little while.

He shakes his head without looking at me, his eyes fixed on the windscreen.

"I...", he says finally, after a thick silence "just wanted to give you... this..."

I see him get something from his pocket and handle it to me. I pick it up and read it. It's two tickets for the ballet. The Nutcracker. My favourite suite. And he knows so.

"And this...?"

He looks at my eyes but instantly looks to the windscreen again.

"Day off, remember...? I bought them... You love this ballet..."

I nod, looking at the tickets.

"Are they... for me...?", I say, mistrustful.

"It begins at ten o'clock", he states, nodding. "You'll have time to get dressed and all..."

I don't get to fully understand it.

"And the other one...?"

He shrugs and blushes a little.

"You can go with whoever you want to. I wanted to... invite you... but... I don't think it's a good idea...

I look at him waiting for him to look at me but it's fruitless.

"Why don't you find it a good idea...?"

He denies quietly.

"I can cancel them, if you want me to..."

"I love this ballet!", I almost shout at him.

"I know... I'm sorry. I wanted you to have some rest. Go somewhere and then to the ballet... But, well, the weather... you can tell... And then you had work at Danube... I mean, I should have told you before. I'm sorry. I just wanted to surprise you"

I smile and punch him playfully at his arm.

"Come on...! Thank you very much!! I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it wasn't as you expected it to. But... let me make it up for you...! Come on, come with me to the ballet...!"

He shakes his head once again.

"No... Go... Invite someone else... I'm not on a good mood, I'm sorry...

"What's the matter...?"

"I'm a bit... tired..."

"You don't like the ballet...?"

He smiles sadly. He has not looked at me even once.

"The music in this one is very good... Yes, I like it, Pan, it's just that... I don't feel like going... I'm sorry"

I look at the ground, thinking about what to do. Go with someone else, no. There's nobody else. Therefore, I guess it will be with him, on my own, or simply miss it. But I like the music too much to miss it. So I'll go with him or I'll go by myself. And I'll rather go with him...!

"Trunks...", I try, as sweetly as I can, "come with me... Please!"

He doubts but shakes his head again. He's melting much sooner than I expected!

"Give me a good reason for not inviting me to dinner and to the ballet, uh, come on!"

He smiles a – very – little and I know I'm making him mine.

"I'm not on a good mood, Panny...!"

"Please, Toran...!" I exclaim, using all my charm "I'll give you whatever you want in change!"

He shakes his head even once again, but now with a smile on his lips. That's it. He finally looks at me, smiling, and nods.

"Right, right! I'll go with you...!"

I smile widely and approach to him impulsively to hug him. I feel his hands closing shyly around my waist. I lean closer to kiss him on the cheek, as I have lots of time, as a little sister I consider myself in his eyes. However, I don't know how, I don't get to his cheek. He sees me coming to kiss him and hurries to kiss me back. Nevertheless, somehow, we don't co-ordinate. And I end kissing him softly on the lips.

He looks at me, afraid. I look at him back, with the same expression. I pull apart and try to think. That was so... strange... It couldn't be casual... could it?! Did he... did he try to... or I... I imagined it...? Instinctively, I go back to my seat. He lets me go, probably as surprised as I am.

I look through the windscreen, trying to erase it from my mind. Although I still feel nervous. I'm trembling as a leave.

"I'm... I'm sorry...", I murmur, looking at him out of the corner of my eye.

"It... it doesn't matter... I'm sorry as well...", he answers with a sweet smile.

"This...", I start, shyly, looking at him every once in a while "Does not change the fact that you come with me... does it...?"

He denies flatly and takes my hand. He's trying to restart the contact for us not to lose confidence.

"Of course not. Stay still!", he orders me, very softly.

I obey, unsure, while he kisses softly my cheek. I can't help to smell his scent... and I love it...

"Now you go...", he exclaims, pointing his cheek with a finger, and I kiss him where he is pointing, smiling.

"I'm sorry", I say shyly one last time.

"Don't worry... In fact... I liked it...!", he exclaims happily. "Do I have to worry because of some possible beat up from any jealous boyfriend...?"

I deny with a smile and he winks at me.

"Listen...", I start, trying to change the subject and forget our little kiss. "I've promised you... well, more or less... that I would give you anything you wanted if you came with me to the Nutcracker..."

He nods, totally serious.

"I know"

"Therefore... What do you want...?"

He thinks about it for a while and then looks at me with a naughty expression.

"Three things..." 

I raise my browns. 

"Three...?"

He nods and stares at me.

"Can it be...?"

I nod with an unsure gesture.

"Alright!", he says, happily. "First of all, I want you to consider very seriously the possibility of being the designer directress in CC. Mother has been thinking about it for a long while by now and I keep telling her to tell you... I don't think it is too much work for you, I mean that... at least, you could leave the other enterprises' job... You can choose your salary, the same goes with the office, you can have mine, if you want to! But... don't leave us... We... we are cuter that the ones in Danube, believe me...! J Please...!! We need you...!! You... before, you have got angry at me... because I've tried to control your professional life..."

"I haven't got angry...!", I lie, but he cuts me off.

"Let me finish, my beautiful...! I don't like you working that much, I'm missing going out with you... If it was my choose, I would reserve you only for CC, but... You are the best and they all want you. I don't want to put so much weight on your shoulders. I've tried to take off the only one of your responsibilities with which I have something to do about: CC. My intention was to give you some more time not having you with us... I expected you to use the time you waste working in the company having fun... But you have somehow got me wrong and now you think that we don't want you... My asking now is that you leave all the other enterprises and come to work full-time in CC. For, if you have to choose one and leave the others, at CC you **are** indispensable and I wouldn't bear to know that you wouldn't be around again and that your office is somewhere I can't go... I wouldn't be able to see you when I wanted to!! We would be competitors!! Enemies!!!

"Alright.", I say, smiling and full of happiness, having to control myself for not hugging him again. "I will work at CC. What do you think....?"

He makes a pause and looks at me, happy.

"Great!!", he exclaims, giving me a bear hug.

"Second wish...?", I ask sweetly while he releases me. "I feel as if I was the genius in the bottle..."

He smiles and crosses his arms, thoughtful.

"I want... a day off. With me. The one I had planned for today."

I nod.

"You and me alone...?"

"Yes, of course...", he says, still thoughtful.

"Alright. Tomorrow...?"

He nods and I observe him, waiting patiently for the third wish. As he says nothing at all, I decide to say it.

"Toran...?", I whisper.

"And third...", he says, drawling, "I want... Pan, I want you to forgive me."

I look up to him, surprised.

"Forgive you? Why...?"

He sighs and looks at me in the eye.

"Because of this...", he whispers, leaning closer to kiss me on the lips.

Too surprised to react, I feel him releasing me before I get to make anything. I put one of my hands on his neck, to approach him to me, and I kiss him back, passionately. He kisses back as well and holds me tight against him.

"Panny...!", he exclaims falteringly in the middle of our kiss. I pull a bit apart to let him speak, but he leans closer still to kiss me and keeps silent, only focused in our kissing. Finally, he breaks out the kiss to speak. "I've... I've been so afraid...!", he bursts out, near to tears. "I thought I was losing you!! That you would go to Danube and that you would make me leave your life...! Panny!!"

I embrace him, soothing him with whispers until he looks at me in the eye again.

"I love you...", he whispers in the end.

I look at him with half a smile.

"What does this mean...? Brother and sister...?"

He smiles as well and kisses me again on the lips.

"That I'm fondly in love with you. Utterly. That I want you to stay in CC and be the president, the director... and the owner. Of the fifty per cent, at least. With me.

I look at him deeply and kiss his nose.

"What are you asking me for, my love...?"

"That... you... consider..." I love that half shy, half attractive smile "the chance... of ending... being... Ms. Briefs... my... my wife..."

I stay still. I can't believe what I'm hearing. I start trembling violently and I feel weaker and weaker as I start to feel dizzy.

"Not know...", he whispers on, "In a future,,, When you want to... This all has make me think that I had to get decided or... otherwise I'd lose you... What... what do you say...?"

I close my eyes to erase the tears that are about to fall, from pure happiness, and I smile.

"That I will. When you want to, Toran."

__

~~ The end ~~

Any comments, please e-mail to: panny_chan@hotmail.com


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